Letting go
Well, I was really determined to kickoff my “freetime” and then… I couldn’t let go.
My current job is one that has taken a lot of my time lately (and I mean a *lot*) for a reason - it motivates me to change it from a technologically challenged one to a showcase of what my company can do. This doesn’t happen overnight, obviously, and especially when you have such a huge codebase.
Helping to sow the seeds of change and not reap any fruit was more than I can take. It’s gonna be hard, long and stressing at times (maybe) but one thing is sure: it will be a hell of a challenge. One that I could not live with myself if I walked away from.
So, my projects will have to find breathing space in all this for the time being. Stay tuned, however, as my Haiku efforts and some other things will press on.
Tags: letting go, secret project, work
Cool
brought to my attention again by this
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Send a heartbeat to
The void that cries through you
Relive the pictures that have come to pass
For now we stand alone
The world is lost and blown
And we are flesh and blood disintegrate
With no more to hate
Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you’re so strange
And in your darkest hour
I hold secrets flame
We can watch the world devoured in its pain
Delivered from the blast
The last of a line of lasts
The pale princess of a palace cracked
And now the kingdom comes
Crashing down undone
And I am a master of a nothing place
Of recoil and grace
Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you’re so strange
And in your darkest hour
I hold secrets flame
We can watch the world devoured in its pain
Time has stopped before us
The sky cannot ignore us
No one can separate us
For we are all that is left
The echo bounces off me
The shadow lost beside me
There’s no more need to pretend
Cause now I can begin again
Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you’re so strange
And in your darkest hour
I hold secrets flame
We can watch the world devoured in its pain
Strange
Strange
Strange
Tags: smashing pumpkins, soundz, who watches the watchmen
Failure, objectives, ambitions
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to build something.
Even back when I wanted to be an architect, I wanted to have something of my own. I never imagined myself a 9-to-5 guy with faceless bosses - I looked at my father and how he and his father created something huge out of nothing and I thought “I can do that too”. My current job has served me so far, I think, precisely because my bosses are not faceless (oh, and the interesting work helps too). I had a good experience with one of the founders in the company’s joint venture department (alas, ultimately a failed one but still I learned something) and with a company of 70 or so employees spread between 2 countries, it’s easy to be treated as some one and not some number in the human resources department.
This company served me so well that I even thought I could let go of my long dream of building something myself. Damn you, Safira! 
But even during these 2 and something years of being there, I couldn’t stop thinking about something to create and how I needed someone to do it with. So far, my shots at “start-ups” have been two and for slightly similar reasons, both failed.The eminent Paul Graham describes someone determined to build something as an “animal”. I’ve never met a like minded “animal” to join forces with. I don’t believe in comfort, guess that is the main thing. Even the people I know who have actually had success, had a mere fraction of what they could achieve if they were really committed to it. True greatness, I think, lies in never getting accustomed - something that is far too common, unfortunately. I believe my failures have given me something that cannot be taught in essays, and now more than ever I feel confident.
Even college, that should serve as the meeting ground for brave minds set on conquering (or creating) markets, is just something that is perceived of as a necessary chore on their way to getting a lucky break and landing a great paying job. This is not the mindset of an engineer in its true form, people just accept they cannot change the big picture - how can we develop greatness like this?
I realized I should just stop trying to find people like me, stop trying to somehow validate my ambitions by having partners and just do something with my bottled potential. My window for venture capital, as Mr Graham points out, is nearly over but I can’t give up. I’m too ambitious for that. I don’t believe luck carries you forever, and so far my road has been plentiful. I believe there’s a reason for it.
PS - I’m still on vacation with my girlfriend around the country, so blog updates will still be rare for a while
Tags: just do it, resolve, secret project, vacation
Haiku OS!
Ok, so I’ll be out of a job soon (by choice) to reboot my college education, and as a consequence I will start having a lot of free time! 
Part of my plans for it is the Big Secret Project™, but I have something else in mind: porting software to HaikuOS, the open-source BeOS replacement. Why? Reinforce my knowledge of POSIX software and software building.
For those not familiar with it, here is the homepage. It is a laudable effort, but there is a chance it will come into the world already outdated - after all, 6 years to recreate an OS that did not even have good USB support? :S
Tags: free time, haiku, vacations
Back from outer space
Well, screw importing the older posts! I’m starting a new project now, and I thought I could use this a development blog. Pitfalls, successes, failures… oh my :) (stay tuned)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Tags: back, secret project, wip
Change of hosts!
This blog is currently awaiting a transplant from the previous host. Stay tuned, as updates are sure to come